This is my first article as a contributor to "Special Moms - Special Kids", part of the Proud Mommie Moments website. Very proud of this particular entry. Thank you always for your support! - Sasha
When we become parents, we want our children to be born
happy and healthy. Ten fingers and ten
toes, perfect eyes that see and perfect ears that hear the sound of your voice
are part of a healthy, happy baby. We
take for granted that all is well with our little one, being reassured of
proper development before birth.
Prenatal exams are generally routine and OB/GYN visits are generally
uneventful if all is well. However, a
select group of parents don’t always get the news they’ve been hoping for…
It was early summer 2007 when I got the call that something
wasn’t quite right with my baby’s ultrasound.
We learned the day of the procedure that he would be a boy, but the news
of a possible abnormality didn’t come until later. My doctor recommended an enhanced ultrasound
so we could get a better idea of what we were dealing with. I cannot recall the details, but I do
remember her saying “There is a 1 in 55 chance your son will have Down
Syndrome.”
WHAT!? Down Syndrome?
At that time, I just couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of having a
child with a disability. Disability. I
hardly ever used the word before that time.
After getting over the initial shock, I did my homework. My heart dropped as I read phrases like
‘possible issues with eyesight’, ‘heart conditions’, ‘delayed cognitive
development’. Then, all I could do is
pray. I begged the Lord to tell me why.
Why me? Why our family? I just didn’t
understand what kind of blessing we were in store for.
After that first enhanced ultrasound, the specialist
confirmed that there was, in fact, a high risk of Down Syndrome (DS). When given the option to diagnose before or
after birth, we chose to find out as soon as possible. We settled on an amniocentesis which went without
complications. A positive diagnosis
would come from the specialist by phone, otherwise we would hear from a nurse.
It was late June 2007, when I got the call. When I heard the specialist’s voice on the
line, my heart dropped. My child will be
born with DS. Down Syndrome. Down Syndrome. The name echoed in my head for what
seemed to be forever until I was interrupted with a serious question. “Do you
wish to terminate your pregnancy?”
Looking back, I assumed he had to ask for medical and ethical reasons,
but at that moment I wanted to scream at him ‘Are you out of your mind?!’ The thought of termination never entered my
head. Like many babies before him, ours
had ten fingers and ten toes, eyes that could see, ears that could hear and
most importantly, a healthy heart. He
was small for his gestational age, but looked fine nonetheless. After gathering my composure, I gave him my
reply…
“Absolutely not.”
We scheduled subsequent appointments and ended the phone
call. I was home alone at the time. I called my husband and mother and gave them
the news. Then all I could do is
pray. I prayed for the health of my baby
(who was named James Gregory, after my brother and father James and my
husband’s uncle and cousin Gregory), prayed for strength for my family and
prayed for strength for me. He must have
heard me. I watched a Tigers game and
received a letter from my church, inviting us to vacation bible school. I’ve been an active member of St. Stephen’s
Community Church ever since.
On Thursday, September 27, 2007, I went into the
specialist’s office for a routine test when an anomaly was discovered. After it was fully analyzed, I was admitted
right away. I was assured it was
precautionary, but I was panicking inside. ‘What’s wrong?!’ By the time the evening arrived, it was
determined that labor had to be induced.
While James’ heart rate was struggling with each contraction, I was concerned about him being born almost
six weeks early. An emergency C-section
was ordered and I was rolled into the OR.
My husband was by my side when a tiny little boy with a huge voice
popped out (Yes, I heard a ‘pop’.).
There he was, with ten fingers, ten toes, a tiny cow lick on the top of
his head and apparently a really big voice.
James Gregory Gaskin had arrived.
James had to get settled in the RNICU before I could see
him. When I held him for the first time,
I knew my prayer was answered. The Lord answered ‘Why you? Because he needs
you. You need him. I created you for each
other.’ That was all the motivation I
needed.
So here we are today. James is in school and loving it. He loves to swim and enjoys watching
Spongebob Squarepants every day. He had
as many as six specialists at one time, continues with physical therapy,
occupational therapy, and speech therapy.
James’ delays are pretty severe but overall he is healthy and happy…a
true blessing. James is a testament to
how we all overcome our obstacles in life.
James lives life to the fullest every day, as should we all.
As a proud (and special) mommie, it is my hope that any
parent who is raising a disabled child or is expecting a disabled child, can
find hope and motivation in these words.
Its always darkest before the dawn and a disability diagnosis is not the
end of the world. Surround yourself with
supportive people. Get to know any local
organizations that can help. Learn about
educational opportunities for your child.
“Special mommies” are a rare breed, a rarity to be treasured and
celebrated.
